Fragments of a year
Fragments of a year tumble towards the close. An obscure new beginning awaits.
As the year melts away, I’ve found myself apprehensively turning the pages of diaries past in search of an answer or rather an affirmation that I’m on the right path. This reflection surprisingly soothed me as the words found on the page, no matter the year, all ran through a similar vein.
Annually, I write new ambitions for the future, like so many of us do, as a way to guide me through. A belief that perhaps, if I write them down, they will come true, if I just work hard enough. Next to each of these ambitions lies a hollow tickbox. Yet, if the pages of my diary could talk, they would ask me why they lie forgotten. But maybe the reason is because they will be a lifelong journey.
Sharing my experience with anxiety on more public platforms, writing for brands and publications, learning a language, reading more. These are all ambitions without a conclusion. Perpetual. So, when they tick over from one year to the next, every time I sit down in front of a fresh piece of paper and take my pen to it, it is because these goals are a reflection of not only what will bring me joy but of what already brings me joy.
They remain a constant compass for me and have done for many years. Whenever I feel lost it’s helpful to return to them for some direction. To remind me of what matters most to me. I will continue to cultivate them because the beauty truly lies in the chaos of the journey.
With the ink not yet dry on my ambitions for the coming year, I’m soaking them all in, without the usual anxiety I feel about the passing of time. I’ve arrived at a different point of perspective of what an ambition, goal, wish, or dream should be. And I hope you can too.