An Ode to Overthinking
Are you overthinking what I’m overthinking?
Nighttime is the time of day where many of us seem to worry the most, when overzealous thoughts and fears begin to bubble at the surface. The thoughts we save for when our heads welcome rest on a pillow can be infinite. And it made me curious you see, do you worry as much as me?
Catching a glimpse into your minds via my IG poll yesterday, 43% of you live under the same cloud of anxious worry that people are upset with you. Our minds in full flow of the unknown, of that one small thing we may or may not have said to a friend, taking us back to a conversation we had when imbibing perhaps, or the questioning of why a certain someone didn’t reply to a message, the infamous three dot speech balloon swirling over us as we succumb to sleep.
Most of my whimsical, ruminating thoughts never become reality, and whilst I’m happy that’s the case, I’m also mystified as to why so many of us think this way. Which is why I suppose I felt compelled to spend Sunday afternoon diving into the marvel of the mind. Because, as I’ve learnt in therapy, our awareness can often provide a remedy.
Our propensity to fling open every crevice of our brains with worry can stem from a combination of evolutionary behaviours, gendered nuances, and internal dialogues. Wanting to be liked isn’t inherently bad, our relationships have been essential for survival, our brains evolving to be triggered by rejection, responding with anxiety and fear as a way to protect us. Negative experiences in childhood can also influence us, further triggering that same fear of being left out throughout adulthood.
To under-think would be a welcome superpower, for me at least. But whilst some of you may think these thoughts are pointless, frustrating, impractical, I think they say so much about who you are - that you are sensitive, that you care, that you are kind - and that holds so much hope, so much heart. But as much as you care about whether you have upset someone else, I hope you can recognise that you are upsetting yourself with your reaction. Treat yourself with more kindness. Notice the thoughts, accept them, let them pass, try your best to change the narrative.